Megan Horn, News Editor
The expression goes that “A picture is worth 1,000 words.” As a person who writes words for a living, I also think song lyrics can be worth millions of feelings.
Music has always been a very important part of my life. I remember as a kid my mom would blast classic rock from cassette tapes in the family’s 1989 periwinkle blue Buick LeSabre.
Nowadays, my husband Conner and I listen mostly to Christian music. We sometimes reminisce about the past with 2000s genres of alternative rock, country and pop.
Although my current 2005 Nissan Altima, (which is a great car with almost 320,000 miles,) does not play tapes, it does have a CD player.
The CD disc changer is always loaded with the first album of my favorite band, Matchbox 20, and the latest album from my favorite Christian band, NEEDTOBREATHE.
Similarly to how I grew up, our daughter Rosie Mae is subjected to listening to these two albums on repeat-and often very loudly-every time we take a drive. Sometimes I’ll give Rosie Mae a break from hearing the same song by putting on the HIS Radio station.
Coming from someone who has a memory that’s so bad I can’t even remember events from a couple years ago, I can usually always remember song lyrics.
I sort-of obsess when I first hear a song that I love by listening to it continuously over and over until I know all the words.
A song that is close to heart for my husband and me is Christian artist MercyMe’s classic “I Can Only Imagine.”
I never really understood the words of that song until our firstborn daughter, Ruby June, was stillborn. Knowing she was innocent and gets a definite spot with JESUS our Messiah gives me peace.
That song was played during her funeral and it’s the same song that played on HIS Radio as we left the hospital to bring Rosie Mae home a year-and-a-half later.
Music is always playing in the background of our home, among the treasured moments of dancing, laughter and love. Conner, Rosie Mae and I spend our days praising GOD YEHOVAH and thanking JESUS YESHUA for our blessings as a family.
The pain of losing Ruby June is felt every single day, but glorifying GOD YEHOVAH through music helps me get through the tough times.
Funny enough, coming back full-circle is one of MercyMe’s new songs on their latest album, “Wonder & Awe,” called “Heartbroken Hallelujah.”
This song expresses many feelings I’ve had since losing Ruby June. It gives me all the feels during the most painful moments when the sting of the loss really hits hard like an anchor on my chest.
As the song says, “When the pain hurts so bad, I can’t see straight. When the enemy starts creeping in.” I really need our savior in those moments.
Although I have a terrible memory, I vividly remember every single moment leading up to and holding Ruby June in my arms. I don’t want to forget that, no matter how painful it is.
“So, Jesus, give me strength to embrace the pain like a trophy I’ve won. ‘Cause the deeper the grief means the deeper the love,” as the song goes.
My grief goes deeper than I ever could have imagined, because I love Ruby June more than I can ever express.
I don’t know that I believe time heals all wounds, but I do believe in the peace and grace GOD YEHOVAH provides to make this wound that’s gaping open … bearable.
I sing these words from MercyMe’s song to our Messiah, JESUS YESHUA, with all of my heart.
“I need You, oh Lord, how I need You.”
I need YEHOVAH in every hour, every day, especially in my weakest moments.
“Oh, when pain’s got me weak, I somehow find strength singing to Ya. So, here’s my heartbroken hallelujah.”
I thank GOD for the gift of expression through words and music. Knowing the power He has over our lives calls for a hallelujah indeed.
Megan Horn is the news editor at The Clayton Tribune.